Monday, March 9, 2009
comp paper 2 intro and topic
Anyone can do anything at anytime of the day. That is what it is like in virtual worlds. Just like in a real world people need to be entertained. In Second Life you can entertain yourself by talking to a friend to flying helicopters and jumping out of planes to skydive. Our world is limited as what our bodies allow us to do. Most of the time the older we get the harder it is for our bodies to withstand all that we want to do. But in Second Life it is different, there are no physical limitations on what can be done.
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bret...good start but some serious revisions needed to your intro and thesis...first the intro has some grammatical errors in it...for instance: ...you can entertain yourself by talking to a friend OR flying helicopters and even skydiving.....just one example
ReplyDeletealso your thesis statement does not contain your three main points as instructed in the first paper and countless times...please revise both and send to me via email asap